Some of Aunty's friends came round and we all spent a wonderful day putting pictures on the walls and hanging curtains at the windows, although Aunty said  the voile ones would have looked better if I hadn't been quite so enthusiastic, (that's not quite the words she used but that's what she meant), some people are so hard to please!!

Aunty has lots of friends living locally and they come to see us quite often. I pride myself on being the perfect host, but this year we seem to have had more than our fair share of visitors of the more unwelcome kind, and dealing with them can be quite difficult.  Aunty's way is to stand at the window waving her arms and shouting SHOO - SHOO, well that's what she said when my friend Red popped round to see me early one evening, he usually comes after Aunty has gone to bed, and we talk for hours.

Red is a fox, he's not a bad chap really and he has some wonderful stories to tell.   He calls me Laddie and keeps me up to date with what's going on in the neighbourhood. Aunty doesn't like him because she says he smells.  Well what else could you expect, he spends half his time rummaging in dustbins looking for something to eat.  A few weeks ago Liz called in for a morning coffee and brought her companion with her.  You should have seen this thing!  It was the biggest, hairiest animal I have ever laid eyes on!  I wanted to wave my arms and shout SHOO!, but my Aunty said it was a lady dog, and that I was to be "nice".  I couldn't manage "nice", so I decided to ignore her, until she went into the kitchen and started scoffing my breakfast.  PANDEMONIUM!  It took Liz and Aunty ages to persuade the dog to come out of the tiny gap between the fridge and the wall that she had backed into.

Red fell about laughing when I told him about it that night.
"What did you say to her that made her back into that hole?"
"I told her that if she didn't get her nose out of my bowl, I would bite her bum!"
Shame on you Laddie, that was no way to treat a lady,"
"Oh believe me Red, she was no lady."
Red laughed so loud I thought he would wake Aunty.

We had another visitor 3 weeks ago, a cat, and boy was he ugly.  Aunty was in the garden at the time and she went into her arm waving shoo-shoo mode.  The cat just glared, so Aunty did it again  as she walked towards him.  He jumped onto the fence and spat and growled at her.  NASTY!

Red says the lady down the road has started putting food out for stray cats and our ugly visitor has moved into the neighbourhood as a result, and is terrorising everybody.
"Can't you sort him out Red?"
"No Laddie I'm no match for the likes of him, maybe in my younger days, but not now.   I think I'll be moving on now anyway, there's not much for me around here."
"I wish Aunty would let me out to have a go, I'm young, I bet I could beat him."
"Oh no Laddie, you stay well away from that one, he's bad news", and with that he was gone.

The ugly cat came back right outside my patio doors, if Aunty thought Red smelt bad, she should smell this one.  Aunty banged on the window and shouted shoo, the cat swore at her.  That did it.  Enough is enough, nobody is going to speak to Aunty in that manner while I'm around.

I couldn't get out, but I could retaliate.  Cursing in Turkish can be very effective, especially when delivered at full volume.  How else do you suppose my illustrious namesake and his Ottoman army conquered half the world?

Ugly left and hasn't been seen since.  Aunty wanted to know what I had said, but I couldn't tell her. You can't repeat such things in front of a lady.

I wish Red was still around, I would love to tell him about the look on Ugly's face when I cursed him.  I bet he would laugh.

I shall miss Red.

Sulieman

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