Why Can't a Cat Wear a Hard Hat

I arrived at my new home on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning and while Mum and Dad and my new companion (who I call Aunty) talked about me, I had a look round what was to be my new home. When I had seen enough, to convince me that I should stay, I interrupted them briefly.
"This will do nicely"
"Glad you like it"
"Looks a bit unfinished though"
"There's still some work to be done, so you help Aunty by keeping an eye on the workmen, She's had enough problems with cowboys"

The very next morning Gerald arrived with some covers he had made for one of Aunty's chairs, now if there's one thing we cats know about, it's chair covers and upholstery, so I run an experts eye over Gerald's handiwork, I couldn't fault it. I stuck my nose in Gerald's ear as a sign of approval.
"Nice job"
"Thank you"
"Did it take you long"
"Not really"
"Good then maybe you could take a look at this chair for me, when I relax" (I gave him a demonstration, me flat on back, four legs in the air) "There's this tiny little lumpy bit that catches me right here in the lower lumbar region"
"Couldn't you relax on another chair"
"Not really, this one give me the best view of the garden"
"Right I'll see what I can do"
I decided I liked Gerald, he's no cowboy.

The electrician and I worked well together. He fitted wall sockets while I sorted out his tool box and kept a watchful eye on his every move. He made some crack about me being his apprentice. Who was he kidding, I'm the gaffer around here, so it's was all the more annoying when I was shut in the sitting room when the plumber took the kitchen floor boards up. "Don't you hold me responsible if he botches the job" I yelled. But no-one took any notice.

Things moved along nicely for a while, the painters managed to complete their work with my help, although Aunty was not too pleased about the spots of pale blue paint that somehow appeared on me. The carpenter fitted the book shelves, only one of which was the wrong way round. Aunty and I sorted that out after he had gone home. - Black mark for the carpenter.

"There's four men in the garden, wearing big boots, baggy trousers that hang from the hip and they've all got yellow pudding basins on their heads"
"They are not pudding basins, they're hard hats"
"Can I have one"
"No"
"What are they doing in our garden anyway?"
"They are putting up scaffolding so that they can work on the roof "
"Quick, open the door, open the door! I've got to see this"
"You are not going up on the roof it's far too dangerous, you'll have to keep and eye on them from the window"
SHE IS JOKING!

The scaffolding went up three storeys, every time they went up and down a ladder, I had to run up and down the stairs like a demented yo-yo. No amount of nagging would make her open the door. The scaffolding and the men have been here for days and I have supervised their every move, I AM EXHAUSTED.

"How much longer are they going to be here?"
"We'll know after the surveyor has been today"
"Will he wear a hard hat"
"I expect so"
The surveyors hat is WHITE! ! !
I WANT HIS HAT.

He came into the house to talk to Aunty and he kept his hat on. Then he went up a ladder in the sun lounge testing the walls, he said.
Aunty went into the kitchen giving me the chance I had been waiting for. I jumped from the windowsill landing on his shoulder, he screamed before I could grab that lovely white hat. Aunty rushed in from the kitchen - the surveyor made a quick exit.
"That was embarrassing"
"I only wanted to see if his hat would fit me"
"I told you, you couldn't have a hat"
"I still think it would have looked better on me that it did on him, after all it was my colour"
"Stop moaning, eat your tea"
"Why can't a cat wear a hard hat?"
"Forget it"

So I did, until now.